When it comes to how children get the money they can manage, allowances are the answer. However, some parents give allowances with no requirements on the child’s part while others make performing chores, good behaviour or good grades a condition for getting an allowance.

This is a really controversial issue as child experts too hotly disagree on whether allowances should be a condition for performing chores, good behaviour or good grades.  Each side believes strongly in its position. On the one hand, requiring work for an allowance prevents a child from having an entitlement mentality. It helps them understand that there’s value in doing work and being rewarded for it, and it’s good training for getting a job and for the future.

On the other hand, others believe that chores should be required just because a child is part of the family. I also agree with this because just as Mummy and Daddy are not paid for shopping, cooking and fixing the car, a child should be required to contribute his time and effort to help with the family work load. Conditioning the receipt of an allowance on performing work can lead to disaster. A child may think that all jobs around the house should be monetarily compensated. A child who continually tries to negotiate and renegotiate his workload and allowance may be in perfect training for a job with a union as an employee relation officer *smiles*, but he can cause endless friction on the home front. Another child might also forfeit the allowance as he is not keen on doing any work at home or do well in school. It is your child’s responsibility to do his or her best in school so it might not make sense to tie that to allowances too.

There’s another thing that some parents do with with respect to allowances – they make good behavior count. If a child fights with his brother, breaks a plate or talks back, a parent might threaten to keep his allowance for this bad behavior. I don’t agree with this, so also some child experts. This habit might not necessarily create a good behavior. It just punishes a child without any benefit. However, if you think otherwise, decide on punishment for bad behavior upfront and ensure compliance.

The decision of whether to attach chores to an allowance, therefore, comes down to what you think is best for your family. You may, of course, be influenced by whether you were required to perform chores when you were a child and how you felt about that at the time. Whichever way you come out, make sure that the rules are clear—and be consistent. Think through which alternative you’ll use, and then follow through.

I will be delighted to hear from you on the creative ways you have worked around allowances with your children. So many parents out there who can learn one or two things from you. Let’s hear it.

Thank you!

– Gbonjubola Sanni